To Be a Mother
by Fabi
Summary: It's the second of three stories about Sakura and Shaoran and their son. It's P.O.V. of Sakura. The others two stories are 'My Son' and 'My Parents'. Have a nice reading.


Hello! This is the second version of the fic 'My Son' this time from Sakura's point of view. I made it attending to requests. I hope you enjoy.

I would like thanks Tamara Accorsi, for translate this for me.

Have a nice reading!

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TO BE A MOTHER!

By Fabi

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"Mothers cultivate secrets

Sow love on life

Wrap up the pain on the nests

And show the flowery soul…

The mother's love is the purest,

Love without comparing,

'Cause God lent to the mothers

His own heart."

Something woke up early in that morning. I thought it was Syaoran training just like he does every day really early. I don't know he can do that 'cause is so good to sleep… Especially when we sleep really close, after a night full of love. I miss him so much after he leaves our bed early in the morning to train. We've been married over five years now and I'm still not used with my husband's habit, always missing him in my arms when I wake up.

But I don't complain about this training. It has a good point. My dear husband has his muscles very worked out 'cause of it and I love to caress them. And by Syaoran's reaction he just loves me to do that.

But now I realized it wasn't Syaoran's training that caught me from my beauty sleep. It was nauseous. I sat down on bed abruptly and bang! The room started to spin around me. I did the only thing I could think about: run to the bathroom.

I got there just in time to put my nauseous out. I was still pretty bad when I noticed Syaoran got in the bathroom to see what was going on. He held my hair while I was throwing up and then caught me a wet towel to put on my face. I got cleaned up and brushed my teeth so I could take that bad taste out of my mouth. When turned around to see my husband I could see he was pretty worried. He told me he was taking me to the doctor. I tried to make him give up that idea after all it was just some nauseous I probably got from some bad food I ate. But I have the most stubborn and over protector husband in the world. He told me I was always tired and pale. I would go to the doctor and that was that. I decided not to contradict him after all I hated to see him worried.

The doctor made me hundred of questions. It was amazing how he guessed everything I was feeling lately. I was really a little tired, with some swelling on by breasts, not with much appetite and not standing the smell of fat. Indeed, the doctors of out time are really good. He led me to another room to do some physical exams. When they were done, he took me to Syaoran and asked us to wait for the results. I could see how my beloved was worried. His eyes were telling me that. He hugged me tight while we waited.

Half an hour later the doctor called us to his office. We sat down and Syaoran caught my hand. He seemed to want to comfort me. I just wanted to know what for. On that moment the doctor told us something I thought it was impossible to happen. In about seven months we would be parents.

I was pregnant! I was going to be a mother! I thought it was a joke. Right after I got married I was worried since I wasn't getting pregnant and I did some tests. They told me I couldn't have children. We got very sad but then we got resigned. Now I was going to be a mother! On that moment Syaoran hugged me. I could feel the happiness and love coming out of him. It was when I believed the doctor had told me the truth. I was carrying a baby inside me! A baby I thought I would never get. My eyes got filled with tears.

The doctor told us what to do and not during the pregnancy, what I should eat to get all the nutrients my baby needed. I was up to the sky and paid no attention but I knew Syaoran wouldn't miss a word.

When we got to out apartment we started to call everybody. My father was thrilled; he would finally be a grandpa. He asked a lot of questions about how was I feeling, what the doctor had said, and invited us to have dinner 'cause my brother and Yukito would be there and it would be a good opportunity to tell them all about the big news. My mother and sisters in law got so excited they wanted to come to Japan right ahead and wait for the birth. But Syaoran 'politely' told them to stay in Hong-Kong. Tomoyo also had the brilliant idea of staying some months with us. I shivered just by thinking of her with her camera following me through the entire house. My darling noticed that and asked Tomoyo not to come 'cause we wanted to enjoy the pregnancy just the two of us. Well three if you count Kero. He went crazy when we told him the big news. He kept saying the baby would keep pull his tail. I told him he could play with the kid when it was bigger as his little horse. Kero got really mad and went away to play videogame. 

That night on that dinner on my father's house everything happened pretty much as I expected. Kero ate everything my father put on the table and some more. Yukito loved the idea of being uncle. And my brother… Touya wasn't happy to know about the pregnancy. He still doesn't like Syaoran and is still trying to break us up, though he knows that's useless. He started to stare my husband, who was about to stare back when I elbowed him telling him not to. Syaoran got my message and got very quiet. Before we leave I went upstairs and got together with Yue. He told me he was very happy for us. 

That night we were already laying in bed when Syaoran pulled me close to his arms and led his hands over my abdomen. That made me so happy I almost exploded of love from my husband. Then we loved each other tenderly. 

Months passed us by and I could feel every little change on my body. I had some mood changes that drove Syaoran crazy. I took him to several stores to buy our baby's layette. He made grimaces every time I talked about shopping but he came along very happy, wanting to pick everything personally. We bought everything green first of all 'cause we didn't want to know our child's gender and second of all 'cause my husband only picked green stuff since he liked that color. I went several times to my obstetric with Syaoran to observe my prenatal. 

I remember all those times I woke him up in the middle of the night to get me something I dreamed about to eat. But he was always by my side, always helping me when I got my sickness. I have the best husband in the world!

I perfectly remember the time we listened to our baby's heart for the very first time, the first time we saw him in an ultrasonography… And I was really amazed about that small living being growing inside me feeling everything I felt.

We were about our fifth month of pregnancy and my belly was already showing up. One night we were in bed thinking about possible names for our little one when I felt him moving for the first time. It was… It was unbelievable. I stood still feeling him move and wanted to share it with my darling. I grabbed Syaoran's hand and put it over my belly. My husband looked at me curiously when I noticed he felt the baby moving. We stayed liked that for some while just feeling out child to move.

About a week after this magical moment a pain twinge on my abdomen woke me up in the middle of late night. I was scared 'cause it was too early for our baby to be born. I shook Syaoran hard to wake him up. He jumped off bed and stood up as if he was waiting for a battle. I called him again to finish to wake him up and said I was with a lot of pain on my womb area. I could see he was horrified. I knew him very well 'cause I was also like that. My husband got dressed quickly and took me to the hospital. I was attended right ahead. The doctors examined me and started to put some needles on me. In some point of all that I passed out.

I woke up the next day. The first thing I saw was my husband sitting in a chair by the side of the hospital bed I was laying in. My father was in a couch a little more aside with Kero on his lap. I noticed Syaoran was very worried. No, worried wasn't the right word. The expression I saw on his face was beyond it. It was a mix of pain and fear. It was when something came to me. What if the pain I felt meant that our baby…

My husband realized where my thoughts were getting in and hugged me assuring me it was ok, that our baby was fine, and then told me what happened. We stayed there holding each other, comforting each other. I was discharged right next and got back home. I had medical orders to rest almost that completely. As we both agreed Syaoran called his mother and asked her to stay with us till the birth. A couple of days later my mother-in-law came along with Meiling.

Those were the most boring months of my life. No one let me do anything. But my mother-in-law's presence was very beneficent. Since my mother died when I was a little girl no one talked to me about to be a mother. But Yelan Li taught me everything I needed to know after all she's been through that five times. When the baby was born I felt totally prepared.

I was almost with full nine months when again a pain woke me up in the middle of late night. I woke Syaoran up abruptly and he almost fell off bed. I told him I was in pain. He woke Kero up with a shaken and told him to wake Yelan and Meiling up. Then he got dressed and helped me to dress up. My water broke on that moment. I saw Syaoran got freaked out. I got too; our almost lost of our baby was still fresh on our minds. My mother-in-law got in the room and I said the baby was coming. I felt the contractions getting each time closer and stronger. My overreacting husband took me in his arms and led me to the car. By this time I couldn't hold my painful screams every time I got a contraction. Syaoran shrunk his shoulders every time he heard them.

I was attended right ahead on the maternity. Syaoran came along with me to see the deliver. This one took hours. My darling held my hands through the whole thing. I don't know if I caused him pain or not 'cause I was too concentrated on what I was doing to notice anything. But if I know my husband He must have hated to see me in pain since he was never able to stand to see me suffering anyway. But I knew that all that pain I was having was to have out child born, and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world 'cause I really wanted to be a mother. I really wanted that small one I carried inside me.

I was almost out of strength when my child was born. I felt him coming out of me. It was wonderful. It was a boy and he was beautiful. He was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. The nurses cleaned him, wrapped him up and delivered him to me. For the first time I had my son in my arms. I have never been this happy in my life. It could only be compared to the day I married the man that meant everything to me. I would go through all that pain again no matter how many times I needed to have this one moment to hold my newborn son in my arms.

I remained admiring him for what it seems an eternity when I remembered Syaoran. He was by my side watching our son. I handed him our child but he seemed reluctant to get him. Maybe he was afraid to hurt our little one but ended up holding him. I saw his eyes getting filled with tears while holding the living proof of our love. Oh! I love him so much.

Meanwhile the doctors were finishing the afterbirth. After some time and a few more contractions I spelled out the placenta. Then I was transferred to another room and the visits started. I know that a lot of people went there and most of them brought flowers but I was so tired I almost didn't notice who was there. All I remember was my father and mother-in-law treating our son with an excess of caring and Touya hugging Syaoran, and that was a remarkable scene. Then I started to nap and my husband got them all off the room. The only one left was Kero who wanted to know the baby's name. Syaoran looked at me and I gave him a smile. He said it would be Syaolin.

Some days later we were all in our home again. Syaoran always watched me to breastfeed like if he was admiring it. One night I woke up and realized he wasn't in bed. I got worried and went to look for him. I found him holding our son and making promises to the future. I could see then how much he loved that child we created. He would be a great father. I felt my eyes get filled with tears and made a silent prayer asking to be a good mother too. My husband put Syaolin back in the bassinet and turned around. Then he saw me. He knew I had listened to what he had said. I hugged him tight. Then we got back together to out bed.

A/N: the poetry on the top of the story is 'Segredo de Mãe (Mother's Secret)' from Germano de Novais.

Originally titled 'Ser Mãe!' by Fabi.

Translated by Tamara Accorsi.

The characters of Card Captors Sakura belong to CLAMP. Their use is not intended for profit, only for enterteiment.


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